Losing Patience
by DefinitelyNotFrankincense
Summary: Chroto and Sherri share a drink after work. "I'm a guy who doesn't like to work hard, but I will aggressively pursue what I want. I can see the dormant confidence in her and I don't really want her without that." PSO2
1. Losing Patience

It kind of feels like it's a lost cause, this one. It's pretty tiring in the first place, but to actually put effort into it? It's getting kind of boring. But it's not like I have anything better to do.

I don't dislike this kind of place, but the usual purpose behind it makes it kind of pointless for me. But, well, here I am, prattling about whatever's floated into my mind just to fill the silence once again.

I glance to the side through my goggles without turning my head to see her staring. It's not the first time, and it was pretty damn creepy the first few times. If I wasn't already used to it, it'd probably still be creepy as hell. It's amazing how peoples' behavior changes when they don't think you're watching. It seems to make them uncomfortable if they can't see where you're looking, but they don't have many qualms staring when they don't think you can see them. Since I know this from firsthand experience, factoring it in with everything else there is to her and the general norm, it's not all that creepy. Rather, in this instance, it's a bit flattering.

Sherri... I think it's been about a year by now? We met when she was pretty fresh out of the academy, on the verge of turning 21. Had a bit of experience, but not nearly enough to say you could rely on her. Still, she gave her all out there and became somewhat infamous for all the client orders she would take on; it got to the point she reached the legal limit for how many she could take on at once.

Her name started going around not long after I'd become an observer for the new courses meant to test the recruits' various skills. It didn't take long at all until she responded to the ad we'd placed. She made an excellent subject. She didn't learn too quickly or too slowly compared to all the others and fell neatly in the middle. That alone wouldn't have made her special - after all, if she's just average, anyone else would do. She was willing to take the challenge on solo, which was exactly what we needed; too many only signed up for the team variations. We only had a few solo participants and even fewer who came in regularly. It's understandable, since the compensation isn't much greater and takes so much more effort. But we don't get many average applicants; mostly those who want to test themselves or lonely and pitiable individuals.

Her persistence was actually part of what had my job there so secured. Being able to bring in people like her was valuable. So, in a way, we were helping keep each-other employed. I've joked about it, but her responses always shoot me down. Always something about just being one of many, like we're still just acquaintances. Like sitting here at the bar with her so often after work is just courtesy.

That's how she responds to everything. Even if she was only average in every aspect, it's not like totally average people spend their lives alone in the corner. That's exactly how it seems like she thinks- like she's just some background character that shouldn't tread too close to the front of the stage. That's really irritating and I wouldn't have the patience to put up with it as it is now in close quarters.

When I finally stop and ask for her input, she's silent. I glance again before turning my head toward her, keeping a sharp grin from forming as she quickly looks away and fidgets.

I don't know how I'd call what I do to her or if it's morally sound or not, but I'm definitely intentionally frustrating her. Trying to work her up so much that she'll take initiative.

Of course, I wouldn't be doing something like this if I wasn't sure she was interested. The way she looks at me when she thinks I can't see; how easily she's flustered by my smallest gestures; how she suddenly turns self-conscious when it's around me.

"You've seemed distracted pretty often lately, you know..." I remark, running the gloved tip of my finger over the rim of my drink. You could say I'm taking a 'safe approach' to blame her for a possible rejection, but you'd be wrong. I'm not after her that bad.

Her eyes watch my hand for a moment before she snatches her own drink up and takes a larger gulp than I think she intended. "Things have just been getting hectic at home." she rasps then clears her throat, "I'm sorry."

That was a lie I couldn't call her out on. I may have known about her parents' debt for a while, but it was only somewhat recently she'd told me about it herself. She has a tone reserved for that topic; the same way I knew of the debt the first time, I knew she was lying. Well, that or the blatant frustration written on every movement.

It would be nice if I could call her out on it rather than play along; I already know where this'll lead to and I can't very well stop it. I lean my free arm on the counter to support my head as I tilt it as warmly as I can. "The offer is still open, Sherri." Always keeping it as warm and good-natured as I can when it comes to this.

She sighs, hanging her head, "Don't start this up again."

'_I really didn't want to. You're the one who needed an excuse so bad you'd use such a sore subject.' _Exhaling, I lean on the bar with both arms, just a little closer. "You know I don't mean it like that." Seriously, here we go again.

She snaps her head up and her eyes are narrowed. "I'm not taking money from you, Chroto." It looks like an attempt to avoid saying something she'll regret when she looks away sharply. "I go to work each day the same as you for my paycheck, and that's all I plan for."

I can understand why she'd get defensive about it; I didn't ever expect her to take me up on the offer, though that's not to say I wouldn't carry through if she did. But it's only right now that another piece of this has fallen into place. She just revealed that I was actually factored into how she considered the situation.

I don't avert my eyes. It'd be a patronizing gesture right now. "Why do you think I've been offering?" I keep my voice even, asking seriously.

She turns back to fiddle with her glass and it looks like she's glaring more at herself. "Because you feel sorry for me?" _'I only feel sorry you have to walk away with more bruises than necessary each day.'_ "So I'll stop coming in to throw off the results?" _'You're one of our best benchmarks.'_ "Because you think that's what I actually want deep down?" _'I know you don't want to be absolved of responsibility.'_ Her voice becomes low and her last mutter is almost lost in the background noise as she turns her head away again, "Maybe because I look like a gold digger?"

I give a bitter laugh under my breath, directing it downward. "You'd have to start digging in the first place..." I turn back to her, sitting straight. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't pity you for all this, but you should understand that I also respect you. It's exactly because you come in each day and put in so much work that I'm _worried_. It may just be VR, but that doesn't mean you walk away just fine."

She moves her left hand to her right arm at that mention as if she's trying to cover it up. I reach out and grab her left arm, turning her so I can see the large bruise decorating her right. She'd been too cocky and took the Rockbear's swing directly. "That's exactly what I mean. And the only way you're throwing off results is by coming in injured." This is one of my biggest problems with how she's been handling the situation. She sees what she's doing to herself and yet...

She doesn't meet my gaze. "So I won't come in tomorrow." I let her arm drop but she doesn't move.

"That would be for the best." She turns back, downing what's left of her drink. She's planning to run away. "But I'm not done with you yet."

"Yeah, well, I am." She drops a few hundred meseta on the counter and quickly stands up. "Good night, Chroto." she throws over her shoulder as she walks briskly toward the door. I clench my teeth.

Yeah, I'm seething a bit. Just a bit. It's not the first time she's run away before a conversation could get too serious, and it falls under that same resigned distance. _'I'm getting real damn tired of it. Maybe just really show her how serious-' _The image of her against the alley wall flashes through my mind- I bite my cheek. Now isn't the time to lose my patience. Not over something I've been working so long to fix.

I'm a guy who doesn't like to work hard, but I will aggressively pursue what I want. I can see the dormant confidence in her and I don't really want her without that. If I made a solid move as she is now, she might grow even more meek and subdued, and that isn't who she should be.

But I can't just let her walk away thinking this is okay.

I pay for my drink and chase after her as she passes through the door.

I catch up to her quickly and grab her uninjured arm again, pulling her into the alleyway next to the bar. "I'm not asking you to take a handout and I never was. It's just an offer."

She turns her head away from me, but I reach forward with one hand and force her to look back. "But this is about more than that, Sherri." It's not often that I get physical or speak sternly. I'm sure I have her attention now. "What part of 'I'm worried' aren't you getting? There's such a thing as overdoing it, and you're hitting up more than one category. We're not just colleagues at this point anymore, so stop treating me like that's all we are. Is it so bad to just lean on me at times? Trust me a bit more?"

Okay, maybe I got a little more personal than intended, but there's no going back now.

I know that a little too well as she flares up, knocking my hand aside, "What, so that you can coddle me some more? I didn't want to tell you about the debt in the first place because I was scared you'd offer to take care of it." Do I really come across as that nice (or sleazy?) a guy? Her eyes search for a moment before it feels like she's actually looking into mine. "So much, you seem like you don't take anything seriously, but I know you do. That job you say is such a drag, you put so much effort into. When you get called out on the field, you still have such a sharp eye out, it's like you live for it even while you're complaining. Deep down, you're almost too concerned. If I come to you with all my problems, you'll try to fix them, and I don't want that."

So all that time she spends staring wasn't for nothing. That's a little embarrassing, though. Maybe I gave myself too much credit, or her not enough. Though, I'd probably be disappointed if she couldn't read me just a little after this much time.

She softens, "More than being afraid of you trying, I'm scared you won't be able to. What then?"

Now we're getting somewhere. I'm a little surprised, though. All this time, I thought the distance was just something she perceived and made real; from this, it sounds like she intentionally kept the distance after she already felt we were becoming closer. All this time watching and... jeez. I really did give myself too much credit.

I place my hands to either side of her on the wall behind her. This is pretty tiring. "That's what leaning on someone is. I'm not here to fix anything; I'm saying I'm here to make it easier. Neither of us will know if I can do that unless you give the chance. So just trust me already with what you're really worrying about. " We both know I'm talking about more than the longing stare I joked about earlier. Or maybe it's really about what was deeper beneath it.

We spend the next several moments just looking at each-other. It's kind of weird, actually meeting eyes. It's not like it's any easier to see through my shaded goggles than any other time- heck, it must be harder in this dim light -but it's like we're finally meeting. No, maybe that's wrong. Maybe we've met eyes before and I just didn't notice. For as much attention as I've given her, it seems like I've missed a lot of details. Or maybe I was the one who wasn't meeting her gaze at that time.

Her mouth lifts slightly and her eyes fall a bit. "I'm sorry. I guess I was the one worrying too much."

I give a small smile as well, "About what?" I gently prompt.

"About... ugh." She looks back up at me with a more honest expression. She looks... well, worried. Her eyes held open, eyebrows raised inward and a frown. "I just can't ever guess what you're really thinking. If you were being sincere about that offer," she starts looking back down, "or if you'd actually think less of me for being unprofessional, coming to lean on you. Things like, if I complained I felt like I did poorly that day, if you'd just be spewing some nice crap while you really think I'm pathetic to need so much reassurance," she gives a nervous and bitter chuckle, "especially from who's basically my employer."

So I was right earlier. She really did consider me- worried about how she presented herself, more than just generally wanting to look good. Combining it all together, it seems like she herself is stuck between trying to consider our relationship professional and wanting to take the steps to make it casual.

I think I can make at least one move tonight.

I dip my head down a bit to bring her eyes back up to me. "You really think I'd be taking you out to drink so often if I thought I was just your employer?"

"Never know..." She tilts her head down with a shy, lopsided grin, "Could just be a formality; maybe just a cheap way to make me feel like I'm welcome to come back."

While she's trying to play it off, I know part of it is serious. "Do you ever see me taking anyone else out?"

"I know now." She nods, closing her eyes. "I'm sorry. For having so much doubt in you, and for feeling so insecure. It really hasn't been fair to you, with how much you've actually been trying."

I grin. Suddenly all that effort doesn't feel like such a waste. I bring my arms back, placing one on top of her head, "If you realize it, start making it up to me."

She flinches only a bit, looking at me with wide, confused eyes, "...How?"

"Start by actually treating me like your friend next time we go out?"

Her eyes widen just a little more, her mouth falling partway open. She stares for a few moments before finally composing herself to nod, "...Alright."

And it's about freaking time. I have to stop my grin from widening more as it suddenly feels like I won a duel or something. Seriously, dealing with this woman so indirectly for so long has been more taxing than anything.

I mess her hair up a bit. "And maybe tell me something that's really worrying you." Really, how bad is it when you look forward to being on the receiving end of complaints?

"...I'm sorry."

Hm? "For what now?"

She looks away and lowers her voice, "For starting tonight's drama just because I didn't want to be honest..."

...Ohoho. Are we really on a roll tonight? I lean in only slightly, "So you were lying earlier when you said you were thinking about the debt?"

A blush blooms on her cheeks and it takes some effort to keep my expression in check. "... Yeah..."

Why not? Really why not? "So, tell me the truth?"

She looks at me only briefly before glancing back away. "...That can wait for another night. I think we've both had enough of this for now."

Oh well. Progress is progress. As said, jumping the gun at this point would probably be a bad idea anyway.

I can't help sighing, though. I take my hand off her head and nod. "For the best."

She backs away and out of the alley, into the light of the street lamp. I follow, putting my usual grin back on and getting ready to part ways.

"...Good night, Chroto. And thank you." With that, she goes on ahead.

There had been a small smile on her lips, and her posture is a huge giveaway for the relief she must be feeling. I have no doubt she's really serious now.

But, well, just to make sure...

"Sherri!" She turns around at my call.

"Maybe we should team up?"

She stands there staring for a while before it looks like she finally remembers.

_"You're always running here and there on quests. Such a busybody. I could use someone like you for a new partner during ARKS duties. The partners they keep assigning me just get frustrated and now they're hounding me to get a new one. I'd say we get along well, yeah? Give it a shot?"_

_"That's a bit... You have been watching me, right? I don't think I'm qualified... And.. uh... ... ahem. You should be more dedicated to your work, sir."_

_"Don't be such a drag..."_

It had hardly been my first attempt at getting her to loosen up, but it was one I thought might actually have had a chance. After all, it would have given her more paid ARKS work. Instead, she so vaguely turned me down. It was really frustrating at the time. I also stopped paying attention to how many requests I'd ignored to get a new partner for cooperative missions.

But she looks like she's actually considering it now. She really wouldn't be that bad of a partner on the field. I can only dish out so many explosive shells, and her work with wired lances would be some all too welcome crowd control. Maybe alternate who plays analyst, too. It's just plain tedious and draining to run mostly solo missions, anyway. I know she knows that feeling, too. It'd do us both some good.

It looks like her face is trying to match her cerise eyes. She shoots a wide, toothy grin at me and gives one dramatic nod, "...Yeah!"

I didn't realize I was actually awaiting her answer until I saw her smile. I was half-expecting her to say something like 'maybe next time.' If the last time felt like a duel, this one felt like a battle. Jeez, if only every argument could be this productive. Rather, I guess let's hope that the following arguments will be productive as well. Today really did turn out better than I could have hoped for.

I return the gestures and we both wave to one-another before turning back down our respective paths. I also give my cheek a sharp pinch when my grin gets a bit too persistent.

I think I might be getting a little too serious about this. That's a little worrying, maybe? Oh well. If she can give me a confident smile tomorrow, maybe getting serious isn't such a bad thing.

Now the only thing I have to worry about is the paperwork. Joy.

* * *

(I apologize this author's note is so long. It's not important and will only lose more relevance once NA/EU comes out.)

Start: October 4th 2013 2:43AM  
Finish: November 14th 3:59PM  
Finished editing: November 20th 2013 11:30AM

I'm bad at titles and summaries. And writing. So sorry.

Here is a picture of Sherri, for the curious (remove spaces):  
img713 .imageshack .us/img713/4653/fo7s. jpg

I feel like the ending was a little too abrupt, maybe? I don't know how to extend it, though. Probably doesn't help that I wrote the majority of this while I'd been awake 24 hours, going on 5 hours of sleep.

There isn't much of Chroto to go off of. As of writing this, the official NA/EU version has not been released and all we have to go on are partial translations. Because none of the translators seem to care about Chroto, I ended up interpreting his cutscenes myself. I wonder if he's far off...

Even with so little to go off of, he's still a bit hard to pin down? He's very "suspicious" of many things, but I kind of take that to mean he's very observant (along with his "Nature" which is set to "Intellectual"). We, the players, can tell there's some shady stuff going on, but all the characters seem really oblivious most of the time. Chroto seeing there's probably a dark side to all of it probably means he's more observant than most characters.

I understand his manner of speech, but it's very difficult to bring over into English. We don't have anything that's really the same, so I think the English Chroto is (and will be) a very different character from the Japanese one. Um.. it's kind of, very polite yet very laid back at the same time. Would probably use a lot of "Hm"'s and "Ah"'s and such, maybe.

Native players have described him as a 「めんどくさがり」 type, and along with his "Slow Starter" "Trait", he's probably very lazy and bored until he gets into it, where he'll probably get a little too into it, maybe? There's also his "Inclination", which is set to "Guardian" (more literally, "Thorough Defense", which does not have the same implications), which sounds like he'd be very guarded, which I don't think I conveyed or thought about much prior to writing this... But along with his goggles, it makes sense, maybe? Hm.. There's also his name. Even though they officially spell it "Chroto" in English, it's still spelled 「クロト」 in Japanese. Even though it's katakana and can also be read as "Klotho" (which is an enzyme), I'd like to think it's a lame reference to how "shady" he seems. (That is, kuro-to: "kuro" being "black" and "to" being a common end part to (mostly) masculine names.)

... Okay, I'm done stating my overthought analysis.

Anyway, I realize the "debt" plot is probably cheesy, but I have thought about it. I just didn't see an opportunity to elaborate what kind of debt it was. For the curious, she was enrolled at a very expensive boarding school and didn't know that her parents couldn't actually afford to send her there until after she graduated, where she then felt obligated to help pay off the debt.

Also, this story being set to "complete" may be... half-correct? I'm not sure if I'll write a follow-up or not, or if it'd be better off as its own entry rather than as another chapter. I like thinking about Sherri and Chroto's interactions, but they end up feeling so vague that it's difficult to write them down, so I don't have much... Anyway, what I had planned was when Sherri finally breaks and makes that first move.

(EDIT: DISREGARD THAT, DEFINITELY ADDING A SECOND CHAPTER.)

... With that, I'll go feel good about being the first to post something about Chroto (and second to post something of PSO2?) before the NA/EU release. Have a good day.

(EDIT: I'M SORRY, I mixed up Cyclonedas and Quchronadas. Changed it to a Rockbear 'cause ugh whatever)


	2. Frustration

You ever have one of those moments where you wonder "What the hell am I even doing here?" I probably should have listened to it before my head started to haze. Foresight was never my strongest suit.

It's a decent atmosphere for a place like this. Warm color and lighting, soft music, quiet chatter and the sound of ice cubes and glass clinking.

It's not very busy today and the glass in my hands is cold, but it feels too warm in here. Watching out of the corner of my eye, Chroto seems perfectly comfortable, so it must only be me.

He's idly talking about something, but the words are blurry. I'm not listening to anything but the smooth yet raw vibrations of it and I feel bad about it, but at the same time, I kind of give up caring.

I indulge every once in a while like this; listening only to the sound as if that's something I'm privileged to do at this point. We're close, but not especially close, despite how much time we've ended up spending together, but I like to pretend at times.

"...wouldn't you agree, Sherri?"

I jolt a bit in my seat, turning my head to him fully. I just kind of let my eyes wander over what's visible of his face to stand in for the eye contact his goggles deny. It was a little unnerving when we had still only just met. I'm not sure how I got used to the thought that he could be looking anywhere. Maybe because it's him. It seems like the worst he'd do to abuse that freedom is avoid looking at the subject all together. But that thought doesn't make me feel much better.

I consider lying for a moment before I realize just how similar this situation is to half a year ago. Same bar, same bar stools, same tilt of his head, same filler on his end and the same longing silence on mine. As much as I'd like him to back me into the alley wall, I don't want it to be for the same reason as last time. It was scary.

I decide to settle for part of the truth. "Sorry, I think I had a bit too much tonight... Having some trouble focusing." _'Focusing just fine on his lips though, weren't you?'_ a little part of me chastises and I look away. I'm seriously pissing myself off with this infatuation.

… Is infatuation the right word for it at this point? We've known each-other for almost two years. At first it was just business for a little more than half a year, then… then what? What changed? Maybe it really was just circumstance. His praise suddenly sounded genuine, like he'd started noticing me separately from all the other subjects. I didn't want to step out of line, so I only extended my greetings and such. My mother asked if I'd met anyone who made my heart throb yet, which sent me actually thinking about it. After that, it was hard not to extend the conversation just a little more each time, even if I didn't realize it was happening. From there, I found myself at the bar with him at least once a week.

I realized that I was pretty lonely in that regard. I hadn't had the option of exploring that side of myself when I was younger since it was always all-girls schools by the time I hit puberty. After graduating, it was all work. So of course it makes sense that when my hormones finally catch up to me, they hit me like a dive-bombing Crys Drahl. Even though I'm scared of the unknown, it's still taking most of my will-power not to jump the bastard.

Because the more I looked, the more I realized I was attracted to him—but I can't even place _why_. When it comes to his looks, I kind of think he's everything I don't like. Not that I've had the time to think about what I like, but… I mean, the first thing I thought when we met was _'How could you do that to your hair? That's hideous and you'll go bald before you're gray.' _ His lips—which I'm definitely not staring at again while he's asking something else —are much too thin and too close to his nose. While I obviously haven't seen under his coat, he's an ARKS op, so he's probably built, and I kind of liked the idea of something softer. From the outside, his shape was definitely nice, though… The way the gaps in the sides of his coat hugged his hips _so fucking perfectly—STOP, HE'S TALKING._

It must be obvious when my eyes snap back into focus. "I said, you should probably call it a night. We have another cooperative mission tomorrow. Or are you going to complain every time a shot goes off?" He grins that same grin as always and I wince.

I don't think I like his personality, either. Even if I can see the concern and passion underneath the laziness and nonchalance on the surface, it just…. it all pisses me off and I don't know why. And he just carries himself so smoothly, makes all these little gestures screaming 'come hither' and that stupid smug grin and that _voice_ that manages to always sound so seductive—STOP. STOP, STOP, STOP, _STOP._

I press the heels of my hands into my eyes and realize my mouth had been slightly open. Since when, I don't know, but goddammit, I must look like an animal in heat. I need to get out of here, _now _before I do something I can't take back. (Why wasn't that thought 'before I do something I'll regret'… _Dammit._)

"Y-yeah, I.. I'll… yeah." _Shit,_ I can't even… ugh. And it's like that too damn often, even if it's not quite as bad as when I'm a little more than tipsy.

I move to stand up and would have found myself faceplanting if Chroto hadn't already been expecting it. He steadies me against the stool, keeping his hands on my shoulders. "Whoa, there…" I can almost feel his eyes on me and… I look down at the ground, trying to ignore the weight of those hands. "Just dizzy? Or do you need me to help you home?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm.." I brush his hands off and take a few steps away before I need to hold back on to one of the stools for support. I don't get it, I'm not… I'm not fall-down drunk, damn it. My body's just… burning. I'm not sweating, but it just..

"I'm not letting you leave on your own." Before I can respond, he's at my side and about to lift my arm around his shoulders. It immediately feels like my body's on fire and I jolt back.

"I can walk, just… blood.. head…" I shake my head, slap my face with both hands a few times. Trying to erase the sudden thoughts that spilled through my mind at that touch. I'm not drunk, I'm just… dizzy, buzzed, nervous and turned on.

He sighs, frowning. "If you say so, but you're still not leaving alone."

I want to keep refusing until he gets bored or whatever, but the responsible side of me shuts me up. I can't really say I know my limit with the drink and I don't fancy the idea of waking up in a gutter tomorrow because I was being stubborn or couldn't control myself. So I nod and reach for my wallet to pay tonight's tab.

"Taken care of." I shoot a glare at him. "If you're that pissed, pay me back tomorrow. For now, we're focusing on getting you home."

It's my turn to sigh, shuffling toward the door. Actual anger is a pretty good mind-clearer.

Except I still manage to stumble and trip on the threshold, again being brought back upright by Chroto. He doesn't let go, waiting for me to stand back on my own. I can feel almost too much of him against my back.

I look up at him. Despite what I said earlier about his goggles, I've still found myself feeling like I'm holding eye contact with him. The way he freezes when it happens, it seems all the more probable. I may not be able to actually see his eyes, but I can still read that expression and it instantly sobers me.

That look of worry. That… calm and concerned look that just radiates… ugh, _I don't know, _but it makes my chest tighten. I don't know what attracted me to him initially, but.. even if his personality pisses me off at times, the fact he's genuinely concerned for me…

I'm at my limit. I just… I can't.

With adrenaline fueling me, I tug him along. Surprised, he stumbles and it's easy to get him against the alley wall. He lets out a small grunt and braces himself against it.

* * *

**THIRD-PERSON POV**

_'Well this is interesting,'_ he thought.

While he had his suspicions when she first couldn't answer, he actually thought she'd had too much and tonight would just end with dragging her back to her barracks. But she wasn't that much of a lightweight. Was all of this really caused by her frustrations?

She isn't that much shorter, but she still can't match his height so well, so it's a little awkward with both of her hands to either side of him. Her head is hung to avoid his gaze—_'Maybe a smart move,' _he thinks,_ 'she's got me anticipating her next one.'_

She trembles just a bit, trying to remain composed enough to even start making her point. "I can't take this anymore. You're… you're doing things to me and I don't…" She gives up on that thought and takes another breath. "You're doing it all on purpose; you can't possibly not know what you're doing to me. I know it must be really damn obvious, and… ugh…" She shakes her head, already thoroughly embarrassed with herself, but she's also upset. This isn't all her fault. "I don't get it. What do you want from me? Do you just want to rile me up and watch me struggle? What kind of pervert…"

If she wasn't honestly struggling with herself right now, he'd be grinning. He's actually a bit confused why he isn't. This was exactly what he wanted; for her to get so frustrated she caves. But she's actually worried about it. She wasn't just giving in and taking what she obviously wanted. She's questioning. While he wants to ask 'why,' he's pretty sure he already knows the answer.

She loses some of the tension in her body, slumping. It wouldn't do any good to start calling names. "But the way you're there as my friend and partner…" She can feel her voice starting to die and the sting at the corners of her eyes. She's being honest and serious and it's frightening. "I really don't get it, Chroto… Stop— stop just playing with me already and tell me what you want… this isn't fair…"

She slowly looks up and—he feels kind of guilty. She looks like she's going to cry. _'What have I really done to her?'_

"I hate so much about you. So much. From your stupid, ugly mug to your smug, noncommittal personality, I hate it. _I hate it_." For a moment, she wonders if she says it enough, she'll eventually be able to act like it's the truth.

_'…Ouch? ..At least she looks less like she'll cry.'_

"So I don't understand why I can't stop thinking about you!" Her face colors and she wants to either take the words back or run away, but she forces herself to stay. She's already started and she has to get it all out tonight. All of it. "Why the hell you turn me on so much…" She has to stop herself from going on a much-too-honest tangent about _just how much._

He absently wonders if he's also turned red.

Back on track. She has to get back on track. Lust wasn't how she wanted to end this. "But the lust is only one half of it. This is the first time I've ever felt anything like this and I don't understand it at all." It scares her and she still wants to just stop talking before she says too much or ends up saying something she really doesn't mean—yet. "I just don't understand why I get all nervous and want to smile so much and… _I know what it sounds like!_ But there's so much about you that pisses me off, so I don't…" While lust may be honest, the most honest thing she could possibly and did say was, "I don't understand…" She doesn't know what else she can say.

'First time,' was all that kept repeating in his mind for a few moments. She seriously never even had a silly crush? He supposed it made sense, given her situation. He couldn't help but feel some kind of guilt. While just playing with her was never his intention, he'd ended up confusing the poor girl on top of frustrating her. Even if he wanted a straight answer about how she felt, he couldn't get one, and it was his fault. He made her fall to pieces. This was more than just seeing if anything would come of it. She was very serious and he—he…

"What do _you_ want?"

Her eyes widen and stare directly through the polycarbonate shields to his. There really wasn't anything else that he could say or ask that wouldn't downplay the situation. He relaxes his body, knowing she'll see that much.

He's waiting with his guard down and she knows.

"I… I want…." What does she want? Is there anything she actually _wants_ from him? She may have gone on about how he arouses her, but after the whole outburst and with the feelings she's too confused to even put names to, to say she just wants sex would be both insulting and a full lie.

She looks with as much focus as she can, as if she'll find the answer reflected somewhere on the shiny surface. It's a place to start.

She leans in only slightly, her breathing uneven, "…w-want…"

Slowly, she eases her hands off the wall and up to his face. She steps closer but doesn't lean in, moving her fingers up until they grasp the temples of his goggles. He instinctively wants to reach up to stop the action, but holds it off. It really wasn't that he was against having them off or his eyes being seen; it's protective eyewear, what did you expect? She doesn't move from there, staring intently like she's asking permission. He gives a small grin in response.

Seemingly spurred on by his consent, she tightens her grip and slowly slips them off of his face. The sudden change in lighting has him blinking a few times to adjust before settling back on her eyes.

It looks like she's carving this moment into her memory. Somehow, he can't help but smile a bit.

Her lips part and pause. His eyes…

"…Green."

A sudden laugh escapes him, not that he did anything to stop it. "My, is that all you wanted?"

Her face colors again and she glares. He thinks it's oddly cute. He's grinning at that, which only makes her glare more. "No! That's…" She looks down and he has to stop himself from making her look back up. "I was just… surprised… " The words sound thick, like they were hard to even pass. Under her breath, she whispers, "…_expected brown_…" _'Hah… ever so sorry.'_

But they were… She couldn't accurately describe how she thought of them. The eyes alone weren't really anything special. They were just a very lime-like green, not really wide or fox-like. Maybe it was just his hairstyle, but the color just didn't look right. But his eyelashes… were surprisingly thick and she found herself just a little fixated on them. All in all, she still wouldn't say he was particularly good-looking. Rather, maybe because she wasn't used to seeing them, he looked even worse. The hat kind of balances it out a bit, though, she supposes. She returns her focus, this time on eye contact. It's strange, she thinks, to finally hold real eye contact with him. It's like a whole new set of rules have started, but then she realizes she wasn't all that great at reading him in the first place.

But she'd like to learn how.

What does she want? She still isn't completely sure, but she has a rough idea that she thinks she found in his eyes.

She puts her hands on his shoulders to make sure she can keep her balance. His depth perception is off without his goggles, so he's not entirely sure if she's getting closer or not. "I… I have no i-idea why, but…" Her voice starts fading, getting lower and lower. "I-I want…"

The pressure on his shoulders increases, he raises an eyebrow and can feel the final breath across his face.

"I want… you."

It may not have been a surprise, but it was still far from graceful on either end, which could mostly be blamed on her. The way she had him partially constricted didn't give him much chance to maneuver. She started too fast and their teeth clinked together; in trying to match his height, the top of her head tipped his hat off-balance; the pressure she was putting on his pauldrons was uncomfortable and it felt like she was on the verge of slipping off or maybe crushing his goggles against them.

He immediately moves his hands up to reposition hers and backs up. At first she thinks he's pushing her away, but he leans down to close the distance himself more comfortably. He moves her right further up to either grasp his shoulder or behind his neck—she picks the former to back them up closer to the wall —and moves her left down to rest on his chest so he can get his own hands where he wants them. His right moves up over her arm and into her hair and his left slowly goes around her waist to rest against her left side.

Their eyes remain only half-open throughout the ordeal, him to make sure of her responses—delightful so far, a few moans so small they could be passed off as breaths through her nose and her chest pressed up against him—and hers a combination of not knowing what to do, wanting to keep eye contact (was that creepy?) and also wanting to see any responses.

It's as physically intimate as she's been with anyone since she was a child trading hugs, and as he's been since he can't even remember—he noted he definitely missed it, as clumsy and simple as this was. They settled for repeated, prolonged kisses; each one covering her mind in more of a fuzz that makes it harder and harder to focus and eventually forces her eyes shut. If asked to describe it, there wasn't much more she could possibly recount. She was embarrassed she executed it so poorly, grateful he seemed to understand and tried to show her properly, and now getting maybe just a bit caught up in the sudden heat of the moment; pressing closer and about to—about to what? She wants something more from this, but doesn't really know how to go about getting it. Open her mouth? Move her knee?

He slows down and backs off after seeing her eyes close, realizing the potential there was to go too far. There'll be plenty of time for that later on. He watches her catch her breath, absently massaging her scalp with his right hand.

The air coming back to her lungs seems to bring her back down and she's grateful—yet just a bit frustrated—that he cut it off.

She gives a final shuddering sigh, "I want you…" It's not lustful at all and has him wanting to pull her closer. It was soft and purely honest, but somehow sounded.. afraid.

"And that's all?"

Her eyes open again, looking at his chest without focus. She's scared of a lot of things right now. Scared of what she just did; what she was about to do; the various implications of everything combined; how even if he reciprocated and hasn't pushed her away and his voice is even and… somehow satisfied, she doesn't know what he'll do next.

"…Yeah." is all she can mutter. She tried to keep it from sounding like she was already defeated, but she herself cringes at how it came out. She knows she doesn't really have anything to worry about when it comes to him. Even if this attention was unwanted, they were friends—_partners_. He wouldn't hurt her in any way he could help.

He can feel that anxiety easily; read it in her voice down to the the tension in her hands, which have both ended up resting on his chest. He gives a soft chuckle to try and calm it, toying with a bit of her hair. "All you had to do was ask." She looks back up to him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. It's a look of relief that simultaneously has him smiling a bit wider and worrying for himself—but it's a little late to start backing out now, especially when… if he's honest, he really doesn't want to. Now that they've gotten this far, he kind of wants to see where it'll lead.

He leans back and gives an exaggerated sigh and frown. "I've been waiting, you know. You made me wait a long time."

She flares back up at that and he again thinks it's cute. "Just… just shut that stupid ugly face of yours already!"

He leans forward again and grins, "Shut it up for me?"

She hangs her head and starts pounding a fist against his chest. "I really hate you!" His smile falters when he hears and feels the light sobs. "I really really hate you! Everything about you!"

"H-hey…" He tangles his right hand in the back of her hair and grips her side a little firmer in an attempt to bring her back down.

She can't stop the string of insults coming from her mouth, gripping the leather in one hand to ground herself. "Your hair is the most hideous thing I've ever seen and your face is still really gross. You look better with most of it covered by those ugly goggles." A couple tears run free as she looks at the goggles still in her hand. "You still get on my nerves so much."

"Hey now, you'll hurt my feelings." He massages her scalp a bit, not worried about her in the least anymore.

She isn't sure what this makes them, but she is sure that she doesn't have any regrets about tonight's events. Whatever they were and whatever they are doesn't really matter. Her feelings— whatever they are as well— have been accepted, and it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from her chest.

She wraps her arms up around his back, laying her head against his chest. "…but I wouldn't change any of it." She sighs and squeezes just a bit, and he could swear she was trying to burrow her head into him with each word. "I'm… absolutely infatuated with that you." She isn't sure when the smile got on her face. "I want that you."

The fingers of his left hand absently rub along her side as he considers for just a few moments. They haven't really seen the best and worst of each-other yet, but looking back on the past year, she's stuck around through and is trying to get closer to an attitude that most others find too difficult to work with. She may not understand the reasons behind it yet, but… seeing her fit so comfortably into him, he's confident that she'd want to find out. Those immature cerise eyes, he's sure, won't look away. He expects her to grow from all of this, though he may not be the best influence.

There's a small doubt in the back of his mind, though; the one that says this has the potential to get too serious. He decides to silence it again, this time with the thought that maybe he'll change a bit alongside her as well. No matter which way it goes, he's sure that by the time they get to that bridge, they'll both be sure enough to either cross it or wade through the debris.

His smile feels soft for once as he leans down to place a kiss on her forehead.

"Already been arranged."

* * *

Initial draft started: 9/28/2013 10:31 AM  
Final edit: 12/10/2013 12:23AM

I feel like there's less real substance in this one? I mean, last chapter was from Chroto's POV and showed his stance on it (before anything got serious), but it also showed where both characters were coming from. This one, mostly from Sherri's POV, has pretty much minimal input from Chroto (even during the third-person bit, which I admit was a last-ditch attempt to get him to have more input) and is mostly just her sexual frustration, I feel. While I did want to have some focus on just how frustrated she was, I didn't really want it to be THE focus in this one. While lust is a huge part of what's going on here, I don't want it to come across like she's just getting desperate for his dick.

:/ I definitely didn't execute this properly, but... I don't know what else to do. I wish I could have done better with Chroto's input. I mean, I know it's plausible for him to have so little to say about it; for him to let her yammer on until she's tired herself out, but... well, to READ it, it just seems too one-sided.

I also wish I could have transitioned more smoothly, I guess? I mean, she isn't totally smashed, and she isn't debilitatingly aroused. Really, she's just a little more than tipsy, probably a bit too tired, and has a mind clouded with mostly lust. She probably could have made it back to her room if she walked it off a bit, got her blood circulating properly again. But she's still relatively new to drinking, or at least wouldn't be all that familiar with how much she can handle before it's dangerous, hence flipflopping on needing help.

I'm justifying and I shouldn't need to do that. Rather, I shouldn't write so poorly that I need to justify anything. But I do, and I'm sorry, but I'm just that bad at this. I'm sorry I wrote this. I'm also sorry about the terribad kissing part. I probably shouldn't ever kiss anyone, I'm probably bad at that, too.

I still haven't set this story to "complete" because I plan on just one more chapter, which will be an alternate take on this chapter. I originally started writing this set with different intentions for these two. THIS chapter was the first one I started writing and it was supposed to be standalone. When I started writing "Losing Patience," it was meant to be an alternate take on the same scene, not a precursor. It just kind of mutated and it happened like this.


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